We. Need. You.

I have three sons and the two eldest ones play football. 

They were invited to play for a team in a competition. To play, it would mean a bit of travel. It would also mean missing there normal Saturday coaching classes. Swimming, Jiu-Jitsu and football. They said these opportunities wouldn’t come up very often and they would like to go. They would like to give it a try and experience it. Even if it meant missing their normal classes. 

It took us 2 hours to get there. A bus ride. A train  journey. And a bit of a walk.  

When we got there, it was an indoor 3rd generation AstroTurf Center. There were four pitches and all would be used in the competition. The boys  were handed their team kit for the competition. The eldest was number 8 and the youngest number 9.  

There were four teams in their group and they would play each other once. After the three games, their team had won 3-2, drawn 1-1 and won 2-0. They won their group and went on to play the winners of the other group in the final. This is where they got squished. They lost either 1-5 or 1-6. I lost count after a while. I think the opposition scored about three goals in the first three minutes. 

The second son cried. He was heart-broken to lose. 

The rest of the team seemed in very good spirits. Apparently, this was a marked improvement on last season’s performance. They were very happy. 

One of their new teammates came up to the boys after the competition and asked if they would be playing again. They said they hoped so. Their teammate said “Good. Because we need you.” 

Later that night, after they had been retelling their stories to their mum, I asked them what their best bits were.  

They both retold the details of their goals, their tackles, their free kicks and their assists. 

I asked what they could improve in for next time. It came down to passing more and passing better. 

I then asked what was the most important thing that happened. They both said the goals they scored. I asked if I could make a suggestion. They said yes. I suggested that the most important thing to happen that day was the moment when their teammate said: “We need you”. 

They went quiet. You could see the cogs in their mind slowly moving around. 

The boys had slept on this and the next day my eldest came up to me and said. “Playing for that team yesterday. I felt like I was home”. 

Value 

When someone says “we need you”. You feel you are worth something. You feel of value. 

We shouldn’t put our self-worth, our self-value in the hands of others. We should build our worth. But when others see the value we can give and let us know, it is a wonderful feeling.  

We can puff our chest out with self-pride. We can walk a little taller. We can walk with a bigger spring in our step.  

We realise we have something useful to offer. We have something to give that others want or need. We can help others we what we have. 

We are of value. 

Relationships 

Being in a team that appreciates what you have, makes it easier for relationships to be built. If you see the value in each other, you can build mutual respect. That’s a solid foundation for a lasting relationship. Hopefully, even a friendship. 

In this world and in this life, we need friendships. Life is too hard to go alone. Don’t get me wrong, there is a lot you can do by yourself. But you can’t do everything. At some point, you are going to come across things that you just can’t do by yourself. Then you are going to need a hand. Then where do you turn? 

It’s the same in a football team. However good you are, you can’t run the whole show by yourself. Whether it is five, seven or eleven-a-side. If you try and do everything yourself, you will get crushed. Accepting that you can’t do everything and need to rely on others is very humbling. You need to find those people you can rely on. 

These friends may not all be in the same place but you need to  build up a group of close friends. Enjoy spending time with them. At some point, you are going to need their help. At other points, they will need your help, be ready to give them a hand. 

Meaning 

When someone says “we need you”, you stop just thinking about yourself. You realise what you do affects other people. Others are looking to you for help. Suddenly, this is something bigger than just yourself. 

In a football team, it’s not just you as a player anymore. It’s your fellow players, your coach, your manager, your fans (parents on the side-lines). When your fellow players, coach, manager and fans see the value you bring and tell you that. You start to see how you might fit into the world. That there is a place for you. Somewhere you are supposed to be.  

This can give you a purpose. This can give you meaning. With purpose and meaning, you can be unstoppable. You go out and do what you are meant to do. You have an energy, a drive that wasn’t there before. You can endure things you wouldn’t otherwise endure. You can achieve things you didn’t think you could achieve. 

Most of us are trying to find our place in the world. How we fit in. How we can help. What we are meant to do. Keep your eyes and ears open. It might just be right under your nose. 

Takeaways 

It is a moving moment when people turn round and tell you “we need you”. 

It builds self-value. Other people recognising you are of value. Other people telling you they need what you have to offer. You are worth something. 

It builds friendships. These people who tell you they need you. You can build relationships, trust and friendships. And you will need the help of these friends somewhere down the line. 

It builds meaning. Being part of a team, a mission, something bigger than yourself. Realising your part to play in this world. This brings fulfillment. 

The next time someone tells you “we need you”, do not take it lightly. It might just change your life, their lives and even make the world a better place.